“Experience is considered part of our education.”
I always learned more when I myself experienced it. Attending this a lot and experiencing a lot of things enhanced my realization on why and how I behave in the presence and absence of others. I have learned so much not only about my life but also the life of others.
There are so many insights that have been added on me. The way I behave today is a reflection of my past experiences especially when I was a child. I realized that my behavior is motivated by reward and/ or punishment. I am doing things in exchange for something from my parents or to get along with my friends and classmates most of the time. I have more perseverance in doing things if I know people would appreciate me on those matters. I am afraid to be punished by my parents. I tried my best to show all the potentials in me just not to fall short for their expectations. B.F. Skinner’s reinforcement theory applied to explain my behavior as the results from the power of other people to reinforce me for having performed desired behavior. These two tools of reinforcement (reward and punishment) affect how I behave. Even though my parents are out of sight the ‘rule of my conscience’ always overrules me not to put them in shame. I want to please my parents always. That is the reason why I don’t like to give them problems just because of me.
To be rewarded or praised by my parents I am studying hard to have good grades or give them honor in terms of winning from school competitions. Doing such things make them happy and proud of me to boast from our family friends and relatives. I have been punished sometimes for having performed things like going home late or disobeying their orders at home. They expect me to do more and excel more as possible. I do understand them but sometimes I feel great pressure because of so many expectations (e.g. to have grades not lower 1.5 or 1.25 on my major subjects). I am also concerned for what others would say on me and to my parents if I did something.
On the other hand, I possessed both strengths and weaknesses. I could say that I am an optimist. Looking the positive side of my life alleviate my difficulties. Example is when I experienced an extreme disappointment in my junior high school for I did not belong to the top ten of the class (it seems everything had gone). At first, I could not accept it but later I realized that I have still one more chance in my last year in high school. Because of it I became more dedicated in my study. I take it as a challenge. In return I reaped what I sowed. I graduated with scholastic honors. My faith in God also serves as my shield for all the trials I have passed by.
I am also a man of weaknesses. I am the one who always commits mistakes. The things I am working right now, first and foremost is my very short patience. I easily got mad when my patience is lost especially on waiting.
My goals in life are also one of the reasons why I am studying hard. I am trying to overcome all my blocking forces like poor time management, priorities, very short patience, and bad influence of my friends and classmates. Knowing my role in every context helped me to play and shift roles. It created me as a man of many faces who knows how to handle circumstances. I have known how to act my roles as a brother, son, student, friend, classmate and so many more. Even to handle intra- role and inter- role conflict in my life has improved.